I've been "meme'd"..

Two of my most favorite ladies in the TwiFandom "meme'd" me.

Go check out their meme.

Waaait...WTF is a meme?

I have an Aunt Meme.

No?

I'm confused.

Cutie!

I need Cutie.

She is the knower of all things I don't know.

She's like my personal Wiki.

Go here for meme definition.

Are you back yet?

Alright, let's get this meme-train rolling.

First, a word from Twitarded aka "the meme Godmothers":

The meme:
Let's do a Meme! So here's the deal: STY and I came up with a couple of questions for all you bloggers. If you're tagged, answer the questions and tag four other blogs. Don't forget to link back to the blog that tagged you! Let's see how many blogs we can get to participate and hopefully at the end of all this we'll know a lot more about each other. Believe it or not, we even made the questions 99% other-blog friendly! I don't think I said vagina or cock gobbling in a single question!

On your mark, get set, GO!!

1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?2) One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast. I can't wait to read these!

(Or "Eff, Marry, Kill" if you don't have my potty mouth.)

3) What is your favorite band/type of music?

4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?

5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?

6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.

7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter.

My meme:

1. What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done

(that you would be willing to share!)?

-Run from the cops.

-You laugh cause I'm married to one!! (But he was running with me.)

-We ended up hiding in a ditch....

-Covered in mud and I think...probably dog shit.

-We got caught anyways.

-All of this over a few beers.

-Don't drink TwiBabies.

-You'll end up in a ditch, covered in shit.

2. One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill.

(With the Twilight cast.)

-Fuck: Felix. He seems feisty and dominating. I like it!

-Marry: Emmett....duh.

-Kill: Jenks. I imagine he's too short and a complete waste of space.

3. What is your favorite band/type of music?

-Band: Blue October.

I have a feeling y'all already knew that.

4. What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?

(I can't pick just one!)

-The Wedding Singer

-Pillow Talk

-Where The Heart Is

-The Cable Guy

5. Do your RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?

-Yes, unfortunately its a hot topic at "Crazy Family Saturdays"

-You would think after NC-17 Tasha was out, they'd stop reading this blog.

-NO.

-Fuckers. <--Just for you Mom. I know how much you love it when I say that.

:)

6. How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things?

You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.

-Hmm...the blog, as most of you know, has been pretty quiet.

-RL has been relentless in her quest to own my ass.

-So....I'd say...meh...10-15 hours.

(That's tweeting, chatting, & emailing with bloggy-friends & my favy FF writer. *wink*)

-If you would've asked this question a few months ago, I'd blush and say "no comment."

7. Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter.

-I nickname everyone. Yep, even YOU probably have one.

-I don't eat pork. Nope...not Jewish. It's just....gross.

-I believe in ghosts.

That was painless and fun. And the quickest post I've ever done!

Thank you Twitarded and I Love Boys Who Sparkle.

Sooooo, who am I gonna tag?

*Cue Jeopardy music*

......................................

........I got it!

-House of Jackassery

-Buried Among the Begonias

-Twilight Moonlighter (aka Pillow Biters)

-Twilog

Go forth and meme people!

Jrod speaks! Hurry...read, before he makes me take it down.

It's no secret.
I've been blogging about Twilight-ish things for a few months.
Yeah..yeah..I've been scarce as of late.
But, I'm trying to redeem myself here.

Also not a secret:
hickey-wars
Speaking of my Jrod, I really miss the unauthorized commentaries with him.
You too?
Well, I have something special for you.
Nope, not a sparkle peen.
(Check your stockings around Dec. 25th...ETA 3:22 A.M.)

It's an "AUTHORIZED" commentary with Jrod.
The real thing.
I guess it's sorta like an interview?
And let me tell you...he has A LOT to say!
Did I drug him?
No.
He actually came to me.
Did I promise crude sexual favors?
..er..ye-...nope.
It's simple, really.
He's been quiet about this for a while.
Not anymore.

Before we begin, here's a little back story....
Bitches is half of the genius that is, We Bite Pretty Hard.
There once was a post by Mr. Bitches about vanilla-sex.
You should read.
Not now, later.
Waaaait...come back!
Dammit...I've lost a few.
Anyways, in this vanilla-sex post, Bitches admits to wearing a "special" shirt.
A shirt Mr. Bitches gave her.
..shhh..*whispers*..it's about her love of spankings.
BOOM

Jrod's favorite TwiBlogger is Bitches.

This is where Bitches' top spot, as Jrod's favy, becomes "if-y"..
If you follow me on Twitter,

...you know about my Starbucks Stalker.
Well, he is stalking no more.
Jrod went all Alpha dog put a stop to that.
Two days ago this happened...
(Uh, I don't know how to do that fancy lil screen snap pic thingy)
Bitches tweet:
WBPHBitches: @um_natalie Bummer...I was rather fond of the fella.

This surprises me, what's a lil friendly competition?

hehehe
Oooooh.
Let the commentary/interview begin.
*grabs CrackBerry to call Jrod*

***

J: "Hello."

Me: "Hi. Real quick..what was your immediate reaction to Bitches saying the Starbucks dude is in friendly competition with you? GO!"

J: "We're doing this now?"

Me: "Yes."

J: "Immediate? Hmm...disappointed. Maybe a little hurt."

Me: "It's ok. Don't cry."

J: "I'm not crying. It's my allergies."
*chuckle*

Me: "mmm-hmm."

J: "I was annoyed too. Why would they think there was competition?"

"What did you say about him?"

Me: "Uh..he's British, likes to buy my coffee, andmaybewalkmetomycar?"
*gulp*

J: "This is going on your blog?"

Me: "Y-yes."

J: "Is there a competition, Natasha?"

Me: "None."

J: "Always good to be reminded, but I don't like all of this twatting.."

Me: "Tweeting."

J: "..whatever...tweeting about boys who want in your pants."

Me: "They are nice pants. Comfy scrub-pants. Like pj's!"

J: "Mmm...I like scrubs. They're thin."

*mumbles to himself*

"Easy access."

Me: "Always with the sexual innuendo. Your mind is dirty place."

J: "Hahahaha...and yours isn't?! I'm male, it's in my nature."

"And so was your Starbucks friend."

Me: "Heeere we go."

J: "How do I talk, twit...whatever..to Bitches?"

Me: "Uh...there's always her blog? Email?"

J: "No no. I like the twitter thing. I want to speak for myself."

Me: "Oh dear God. You can post on my blog."

J: "I think I'll pass. Your mom reads this blog."

Me: "Ugh..I know. She doesn't like it when I say 'fuck.'"

"You sent the RLifers here, not me."

J: "Well, that's when you were censored."

"Hey, isn't Ang on that twitter too?"

Me: "Wha..*sigh*..yes. Whhhyy?"

J: "I don't have time for a blog, but I want a twi-tweet?"

Me: "You should blog about your I Hate Edward Cullen Campaign."

J: "I really do hate him and his car."

Me: "Cutie tweets too. You can ask her about her hair."

*giggle*

J: "What? She has nice hair!"

Me: *mumbles* "Hair fetish."

J: "I heard that. And what's all this about her socks and hugs?"

Me: "Nothing." *starts purging tweets*

J: "Are you going to do it? Today?"

Me: "Dooo what? Warn everyone? Yes."

J: "Hahaha...I like this. You might want to warn Lindsey too."

Me: "Oh. She knows. She's prepared."

"Will you be nice to my friends?"

J: "Of course. I'm nice."

"No one can resist my...what did FiFi call it?"

Me: "Oh brother." *sigh*

"Your babyface."

J: "Thaaat's right. Remind me to buy her something special."

Me: "And will you please not bash the TwiLove. Please."

J: "Can I just bash Edward and his car?"

Me: "Umm....yeah...probably not."

J: "We'll see. Is everyone going to edit themselves?"

"Have you scared them?"

Me: "To the people 'in the know' you can be a bit scary, but I'll tell them not to edit."

J: "Ang should be scared."

Me: "Uh oh."

*snicker*

"Hey, Cutie IS a bit sad that she's not your favy."

J: "If she keeps the hair AND wears the shirt, she could knock Bitches out of the water."

Me: "This is going to be interesting."

J: "Yes, it sure is."

*chuckle*

"And now I'm late for lunch. Be good."

***

There you have it.
Jrod is silent no more.
I probably should've stopped trying to convert him...
Or blog about him.
Or involve him in the general fuckery that is, TwiBlogging.
(That was for you, GFW. *wink*)
If you wanna follow Jrod on twitter go here.
I take no responsibility for anything he says.
But, can you help me keep him away from the FanFic writers?
Thanks.

***

I promised 3 of my favorite "forbidden-fruit" fics this week.
Buuuut, I lied.
Sue me.
I need to end this long ass post.
So, you only get one.
Oh...it's a goood one.
Hands down, my favorite.
Ever.
I go all 14 yr old-Twihard when this one updates:
Between the Madness and the Fire by ForeverYoung82


Blogs you should be reading:

1.

2.

3.

I'm running away...wanna come?

"I'm leeeeavin on a jet plaaane...
I don't know whe..."
Ok.
Shutting up.

I wanna share some blog/fic goodies before I run away leave in the morning!
Oh, and there is a super important video at the bottom.
Watch it.
Just do it.

It's pimpin/dealin time!
In three's.
Shut it.
I like the number 3.
Blame Sesame Street.
And the drunk pseudo-Gypsy-psychic woman I pay.

***

Blogs you should really check out:

1. Do you want a little "visual inspiration" for your lemon-reading?


2. The things these TwiNerds do to plastic Edward & Bella...LMAO!


3. I say, tread lightly. She has restraints and a wicked sense of humor!

Fics I LOVE, that you should be reading:

1. Home Run by jadedandboring
-Cute humor.
-I love this Bella.
-Upcoming lemons with Aceward?...Yes, please.

2. The Fallout by OCDindeed
-Wee bit of heartfail.
-Ok, I lied...massive amounts of heartfail.
-Give it a chance, you wussies!

3. 3, 2, 1 by heather dawn
-Unexpected bathtub lemons!
-Sweetward. (Someone alert Cutie)
-heather dawn...creator of above mentioned "visual inspiration" blog.

***

I hope you like.
If not...bite me.
Preferably, hard.
Next week: I'm sharing my favorite "forbidden fruit" fics.

I'm off to pack now....
(aka throw shit in a suitcase & pray FiFi has an iron.)
Can someone check on Jrod while I'm gone?
He has separation anxiety.
Oh, and while you're there....
Can you make sure the little ones are still alive?

***

My very best bloggy friends gifted me with this video.

Why?

[Cutie: "Because I FUCKING love you!!!" ]

Always good to know.

I fucking love your questionable sock choices & our inappropriate hugs.

Here is "Dimple MacDimpleston"

*wipes tear*

I love you ladies.

Truly.

*sniffle*

Thank you for the dimple-porn.

;)

A "come back" gone wrong...

Guess what...

I'm coming back!

That's right.

This isn't a quickie.

Oh no...

This one is a full-on tease & worship every square inch of flesh.

Tender & sweet.

Passionate & slow.

Hot & hard.

And just when the O's are about to make their screaming arrival...

A sleepy 5 yr old comes strolling in.

It appears you didn't lock the door...dumbass.

Are you wondering what the fuck I'm talking about?

You're still here, right?

Gather round kiddies.

Auntie Tasha has another tale of cockblocking.

I mean blogblocking.

A few days ago, I was adding the finishing touches to my "come back" post.

It was good.

*pats self on back*

It was packed full of rambling wittiness.

It was the post to end all of Cutie, Ang & KG's fears.

Bottom line: It was a post of awesomeness.

[FiFi: "What happened? What happened?!"]

I pushed the nice orange button...

And instead of the button doing what it says it does "Publish Post"

It ate my post.

The post of awesomeness disappeared.

It. Was. Gone.

*chokes back sob*

An entire week's worth of witty Twilight banter...GONE!

[FiFi: "NOOOOOOO!"]

I'm not really sure what happened after that.

I was in a haze of heartbreak and anger.

There were death threats...

Attempts to locate bloggy witch doctors...

Sedatives.

Maybe alcohol AND sedatives.

All I know is, Cutie and Ang had to talk me down from the ledge.

It was touch-and-go for a while.

What now?

It's impossible for me to re-do that post.

We're talking massive amounts of fucking brain power.

Which I'm currently running low on.

All I have left are the pictures.

[FiFi: "Post those bitches! It's better than nothing.."*shrugs*]

Sure.

They won't make any sense, though.

[FiFi: "Who cares?! *chants*..post..post..post."]

Alright, The FiFi has spoken.

But, I'm only posting a few.

Maybe it will be less confusing.

Probably not.

Blame The FiFi.

It was her idea.

Here's a brief summary to help you:

Wanna know what I've been up to the past 6 weeks?

What has been keeping me from annoying you brave followers?

Why I will only be posting every other week?

Look that's all I can commit to, at the moment, so shut it.

It's picture time!

[FiFi: "Yaaaay!! *sings* I'm soooo excited, and I just can hi-"]

Seriously, lay off the Adderall-laced RedBull Tiffani Marie.

[FiFi: *bounces* This is nothing, cousin dearest. Wait til I see you in St. Louis! 13 days!!"]

Yes. Super excited.

You have officially won the award for "Most Likely To Squeee"

It's picture time.........again.

1. Work.

Fuck all of you...

2. Family

[FiFi: "Uhh..what's with the paint splatter?"]

They're secret crime-fighters.

3. Social Networking.

[FiFi: "Why can't I read you tweets anymore? *pouts*"]

I've already explained this to you RLifers.

I'm creating a seperate account, just for you.

Plus, my bloggy friends can handle TMI better than you.

[FiFi: "Very true. I don't wanna know."]

4. FanFiction.

I swear, it's not mine! I'm just holding it for a friend.

[FiFi: "*cough*bullshit*cough*"]

5. Football.

[FiFi: "You're such a dude."]

You appreciate the football pants, no?

[FiFi: "True. I like the white ones best! *whispers* They're see-thru."]

6. Told you.

It makes no sense!

So fucking lame....

I give up.

The SLP is slowly deteriorating.

Maybe it's time to pack it up.

[FiFi: "Wait. That's it? No ff rec's? I feel...unsatisfied?"]

It's called cock/blog/lemonblocking.

You get use to it.

[FiFi: "Emo much? I feel an intervention coming!"]

The end is near.

[FiFi: "Stop it or I'm calling your mother, and deleting your Emmett button."]

Look at that!

Emo-funk is suddenly gone.

=]